Ode to Kiki on Her 27th Birthday

27 Years and 9 Months ago today,
two young lovers, inspired to play,
to dance and fret and walk the line,
had found the time to Bump n' Grind.

That time has passed and age has gained,
what's lost in youth and duly drained,
and here we find ourselves today,
celebrating the fact your Dad's not Gay.

Thankfully, there is nothing wrong with that,
though some do think "A crack's a crack!"
Your Pops, he has exquisite taste,
and chose the proper place to baste.

Now we have a friend in Kiki,
A soupcon badass and a dash of freaky,
Ornery to those who aren't let in,
and daunted neither by ape nor chin.

A Princess Etrsucan in knee high boots,
Bumped up hair and Vajazzled Fruits,
Ivory pale in face and ass,
wait... are you sure you're not an Irish lass?

A filler of gaps, a stepper of Dub
a Broad with similar tastes in Grub,
With pants so tight, eyes you can lack,
and still see what runs from front to back!

Oh I think that's quite enough,
for words that might seem a bit too gruff,
I hope you know I do mean well,
and I'm quite aware of my trip to Hell...

To You! To You, upon this day!
I celebrate the fact your Dad's not gay,
amongst other things upon a list,
if I didn't mention I'd be remiss...

I'm thankful to have found a friend,
from Lucca no less, I must append,
A friend with whom I can drink and dance,
and also has great taste in pants!

And now it's time to quit the Clown,
and hopefully this doesn't make you frown,
but if it does and in anger you drown,
let me just say: KIKI, TAKE THIS DOWN!

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In all seriousness, Happy Birthday Kirsten. Life takes you interesting places some times, and interesting can be a loaded word, but to have met and be befriended by you has definitely been one of the boons of the last year. I look forward to much more shit talking, many more party "head locks," and new adventures into 2011. And possibly a bit less bitching...
_d